intro
Je n'ai pas peur de la route
Faudrait voir, faut qu'on y goûte
Des méandres au creux des reins
Et tout ira bien là
Le vent nous portera
noir desir- le vent nous portera
blog
Friday, May 23, 2008
Futility.Today, as i was obsessing over which note book to buy from Barnes and Noble, and voicing my thoughts out loud to Sarah - big or small? red print or little flower print?!!!!! - i realised, after maybe five minutes of internal conflict and discussion, that i
didnt quite need a diary.
So i put the six diaries i was choosing in between down, and walked away with a twinge of regret, because the note books were on sale, and they were so pretty, and i have an affinity to blank notebooks because i have an
instinct to fill them in (but i never end up doing it.). But the bottom line was, i
dont write in diaries,
im not going to be studying this summer, and i really did not need that extra stack of (perhaps pretty) paper on my desk. So i walked away.
After i put them down, however, i realised, that that was the way i seem to be dealing with quite a few things in my life as of now. I pick something up, an issue that is rather disturbing, a person that i
dont quite understand, a proof that i cant quite get my mind around - pretty much anything.
I observe it with my minds eye, i feel its texture and try to understand its intricacies - then, stupidly, i try and fit it into a mold to find a solution. I try and classify it as a certain type of problem so that i can fix it with a certain type of solution, and just when i am so close to jamming it into one of those
categories by force, i suddenly awaken thanks to some kind of alarm that saves me from idiocy, and i step back and stop forcing the issue.
Thats when i realise that it
wasnt an issue at all, that the solution was staring me in the face from somewhere other than the
categories i was looking at, and that i was stupid to have obsessed over the problem so much to begin with. So i walk away, just like i did with the diaries, and i try my very best not to look back or react to that twinge of regret, both for the notebooks left behind and for the horrible amount of time i spent stressing over the irrelevant decision about which to buy, and i hope that i
dont display the same idiocy again.
Only i know that it
isnt going to stop anytime soon.
and as a side note, even though you probably never will read this, thank you noah for helping me fix my font :D
