Kavya
passionné
résistant
idéaliste

Survival

I think this is something that has been long overdue, partly because at least three people have spoken to me about this over the last two weeks. Its time i write about it, i think, perhaps for some self clarification more than to share.



We're all lost. Its a fact of life, not a single person has not felt lost in this world. I mean, in irvine, such a privileged community, 70% of the teenage population experiences depression before 11th grade. That is such a significant number that one cannot fathom what has gotten into these people - but its true, we're all lost, and we cannot help but slip into regret once in awhile.

Think about it. What does the future hold for us? We dont know. Will we see the person in front of us tomorrow, or the day after? We dont know. Will we die tomorrow, never to see the light of another dawn again, or will we live till we're a century old? We dont know.

The uncertainty of life, the overwhelming sensation that we dont control what is such an integral part of us, the ebb and flow of the tide in the sea of faith - all this just reaffirms our fears, and tells us, again and again that we are lost.

The world is large, and we are tiny. We can get crushed under the gigantic feet of fate anyday now, and there is nothing we can do about it. Determinism only goes so far - i cannot actually act to prevent a car accident, or a plane crash, or anything of that sort. A certain degree of life is definitely dictated by chance.

So here we are, insignificant little creatures lost in the abyss of space and time, with nothing solid to rely on. How on earth does one survive in this kind of environment? How can one actually overcome these overwhelming odds and prevent themselves from being crushed?

Ive been thinking about this for awhile now. I cant help it, when im pensive (most of the time, when im alone) i think about these things - and ive reached the conclusion that we cant orientate ourselves towards the entire world. The abyss has no orientation. There is no way that i can actually define myself relative to my position in the world.

However, what we can do is orientate ourselves to the relative positions of those around us, those we love, those we care for, those we couldnt possibly survive without. I know where i stand relative to my loved ones - and that gives me a sense of security. In the big picture, we're all lost - we're all in the abyss together. But the togetherness is the key to sanity in this case - the small picture keeps us sane. When i look at my family, or my friends, i know what i am to them and what they are to me. The orientation of these relationships, the security that this familiarity provides is what i survive with.

I know that anything could happen tomorrow. I know full and well how incapable i am of controlling what happens tomorrow. But the fact that today, i have you, i have those who love me as much as i love them, makes life worth living - and that is why i live in today.